A struggle to maintain dignity and what's left of privacy

CALVIN WOODWARD Associated Press Writer
AP Online
09-22-1998
WASHINGTON (AP) _ Monica Lewinsky laid the detail about President Clinton on so thick that she embarrassed herself, prompting a juror to suggest she testify with her eyes closed. She responded: ``Can I hide under the table?''

Plenty of extramarital affairs by politicians have become public but none like Clinton's _ nothing close. Americans will be debating for some time whether they needed to see all they have been shown and will continue to be exposed to in the days ahead.

In his videotaped testimony played Monday around the world, Clinton was subjected to questions unimaginable in any other time and place, before such a vast audience. He struggled to keep his dignity and protect what's left of his privacy.

``I know this is somewhat unusual,'' he said, ``but I would say to the grand jury, 'Put yourself in my shoes.'''

More than 3,000 pages of evidence released Monday contain minutiae on each alleged encounter between the president and former intern, a pile too daunting even for most Internet sites to absorb all at once and regurgitate for the public.

Many Americans have already seen enough.

``If they can do this to the president of the United States, they can do that to anybody in this country,'' said Ann Bevan of Haysville, Kan., among the members of a jury pool who watched Clinton in a lounge at the Sedgwick County Courthouse in Wichita. ``Our lives are no longer private.''

Another, Flavia McBride, said: ``The whole thing is appalling, but you don't take any pleasure in seeing someone squirm.'' She supported broadcast of the tape.

In a CBS News poll released just hours before the testimony, 67 percent of respondents disapproved of the release of the videotape and 58 percent said the motivation in making it public was to embarrass Clinton.

Even so, 54 percent planned to watch it and 72 percent believed Clinton probably committed perjury.

Gennifer Flowers' tell-all book about her relationship with Clinton, Paula Jones' now-dismissed sexual harassment lawsuit and a raft of philandering rumors years old had already pried open the lid on Clinton's private life beyond the norm for sitting presidents.

But the combination of a sexually adventurous president, modern communications technology and hard-driving investigators has opened whole new chapters in what a nation knows about its leader's behavior.

It's been enough to make Texas Gov. George W. Bush, mulling over a Republican presidential run, wonder whether he wants to subject his family to the scrutiny that may attend any candidate.

``It's a troubling period,'' he said in the lead-up to the video release. ``Is this something I want to put my family through?''

Alternately forgetful, aggressive and unwilling to go into explicit detail, Clinton told prosecutors: ``Look, I'm not trying to be evasive here. I'm trying to protect my privacy, my family's privacy and I'm trying to stick to what the deposition was about.''

During her own ordeal before the grand jury, Ms. Lewinsky agreed: ``No one likes to have their weaknesses splayed out for the entire world, you know.''

When the grand jury pressed her for details on one sexual episode, this exchange ensued:

``Uh,'' Ms. Lewinsky said.

``I understand,'' said a juror.

``Oh my gosh. This is so embarrassing,'' she responded.

``You could close your eyes and talk,'' a juror said.

``We won't look at you,'' offered another.

``Can I hide under the table?'' she asked, then pressed forward with the answer.


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